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September 26, 2009 it's taken me a week and a half to gather the strength to make this last entry into xena's blog. i am heartbroken to announce xena's passing. for those of you who once followed this blog, and for those of you who may turn to it in the future, i want you to know that xena did not die from her cancer. it's small consolation to us, but might be of great consolation to the ones that follow who are facing down all the terrible decisions we once did. xena died from her arthritis. she was no longer able to raise herself up, to stand for more than a few seconds, or to take herself to the toilet. we loved xena more than words can convey, and we knew well that the departure point for her was going to be when she could no longer manage toiletting on her own. we knew this, because we knew her well, and understood her great dignity in this matter. she left this world (very sadly) alert, full of the love she had always shared with us, her eyesight still keen, her hearing still sharp, her character undiminished. it seems a great injustice to have lost her in this way, after all she had endured. 3 years and two months of battling bone cancer. but finally, we had to admit that she was suffering. she'd lost so much quality of life in the last two months...as the arthritis robbed her eventually of all autonomy. it was time for her to be released. the above picture was taken in the hours before she died. the picture below is the last one ever taken. goodbye xena. i love you to my core. you were the best friend i've ever known. 
xena june 1997 - sept 2009 | | |
| wow. where does the time go??? i'm sorry we haven't blogged in so long. the reason is that life is life...normal in every way. there's no trips to the vet to report. no new symptoms, no illness, no nothing...just life, glorious life. xena has just celebrated the third anniversary of her 'last christmas' and 'last new year's eve'. she was never supposed to make it to the second. now she's just logged the third...and it's looking good for a fourth. she's gone 30 months since her leg broke. okay...so she's a little bit fatter, and a lot more out of shape...but she is still the centre of our universe...the joy in our day. i just thought you all should know this...especially the human companion of a certain 8.5 year old st. bernard...who is going through the hell of cancer diagnosis right now. you're in our thoughts. | | |
| today marks fifteen months since xena's cancer disaster. i'm so happy to report that xena continues to do well and there has been no reoccurance of the cancer to date. life has returned to normal, almost to the point of the mundane...and all is well in the xena house. xena would like you to know that she has fallen in love with two chickens by the name of ruth and idgie...and likes to catch a sniff anytime she can. 
she loves to watch them fossick and dig in the garden beds. well...until they kick dirt on her. 
damn chickens. | | |
| there was a time when i wasn't 100% positive that the day would come...but it did. it's come and gone, and i have to admit, i was almost afraid to mention it here because i was afraid of jinxing it in some way. so i've waited until now. here it is: xena has now survived her first full year with osteosarcoma, poised, though she is, on only three legs. the party is here: http://www.handicappedpets.net/viewtopic.php?t=9204 please come and help xena celebrate another year of live and love. to all those out there who are going through it too...THERE IS HOPE! xena is the proof. | | |
| ten months ago today, we were gutted by what happened to xena...and found ourselves having to make life and death decisions for her, on the spot. ten months ago today, we took the phone call from the vet, who confirmed for us our worse nightmare: xena had cancer. ten months ago today we made the decision to not put down our best friend, the brightest point of light in our lives. instead, we opted for amputation, and took advice on chemotherapy. ten months ago today, the vet told us that the longest he ever saw a dog live untreated with this kind of cancer...was ten months. ten months ago today, we made the right decision, and took the chemo. xena is lying at my feet as i write this, happy in her dreams, her three feet sweeping backwards and forwards as she chases unknowable pleasures across unseeable scenes. she is healthy in every regard, has learned to love food (and gained three kilos persuing this interest!), happy by all accounts, and still the brightest, warmest, happiest focal point of our lives. i want to say to everyone out there who finds this place because you are faced with the same terrible decisions: life can return to normal again. money is just money. love is everything. i thank the powers that be that there was money enough when we needed it most...but more importantly...that for reasons unknown...we have been blessed with the love, beauty, and inspiration of xena. words cannot express my gratitude. | | |
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